The Free Hotline That's Saving Women's Lives by Disarming Dangerous Men

Home Free is a small, transitional-housing program for women who served long prison sentences for crimes against or on behalf of their abusers. A population long neglected, the women are part of a community recovering from the trauma of prison and the trauma that put them there. Giving them autonomy, in ways typical re-entry programs do not, is key to their recovery. “Home Free is the culmination of a decades-long struggle by women to be seen and supported by a system that has condemned and ignored them.”

The Duluth Model is one of multiple successful responses to domestic violence that focus on prevention through counseling and education, rather than relying only on punishment after a crime has been committed. The often-copied Duluth approach uses an intense, multi-agency response that includes putting men who abuse their partners through a lengthy treatment program. That program leads men to examine their lives and attitudes toward women, and has been credited with keeping 70% of its graduates out of trouble.

The Violence Against Women Act was billed as a way to make a patriarchal society, and policing profession in particular, take domestic violence more seriously. It encouraged policies making arrest of alleged abusers mandatory, even to the point of punishing victims who refused to cooperate in prosecutions. This has backfired on many victims, especially women of color who distrust police and their punitive approaches to solving family problems. The law also prioritizes punitive approaches in its awarding of federal grants, thus denying victim aid to women who do not wish to cooperate with arrests.

Advocates who created a hotline for domestic abuse survivors in Papua New Guinea were surprised when many of the people seeking their services were men who had hit their partners. The anonymous phone service allows men to open up about their problems that led to the violence. Other programs focus on teaching young men about healthy relationships and to rethink traditional notions of masculinity that contribute to the country being among the worst in the world for intimate partner violence.

Group sessions, workplace videos, badges, these are just some of the ways various people around the world are addressing sexual, and physical assault. In light of the #MeToo movement in the U.S., the Christian Science Monitor chronicled four international efforts that attempt to curb toxic masculinity.

The Respect Phoneline started in the UK in 2004 to give anonymous callers, usually men, a way to seek help for their violent impulses. Rather than putting the burden for resolving domestic violence on survivors and on the punitive tools of the criminal justice system, the hotline approach recognizes that people prone to abusing others are frustrated and unhappy and want to change but need help to figure out how. While the aftermath of anonymous phone counseling can't be tracked, the author observed the process helping many men change their thinking. Similar hotlines have started in multiple places.

Mothers and Sons is a six-week domestic-violence prevention program for boys 6-8 years old and their mothers. Unlike programs aimed at older youth and men, mothers sign up for this because they want their sons to grow up with healthy, respectful, non-violent attitudes toward women. While mothers meet with social workers to discuss parenting skills, boys meet with a male psychologist to learn good ways to handle their emotions and self-expression. Demand for the program has been strong among area mothers, who have given it positive reviews after they completed it.

Since 2017, two publicly funded trauma recovery centers in Illinois have helped violent-crime survivors cope with the emotional fallout that can accompany a loved one's murder or surviving their own violent attack. Case managers help people get group and individual therapy. They can also line up financial aid to help people pay for food and rent, when their trauma interferes with their ability to make a living. The centers, based on a model developed in California as a way to foster public safety through healing communities, will expand by three more in the state in 2021.

A grassroots movement in Burundi has resulted in more familial bliss for households who suffered from domestic abuse. Through CARE International, a group of Burundian men are taking on toxic masculinity, entrenched cultural misogyny, and "destructive gender roles" through community meetings. Previously abusive men speak to their communities about how and why they were able to break the cycle and how their families have benefitted from a better home environment, better relationships, and even the benefit of being able to make and save more money as a result of helping their wives, instead of abusing them.

Outreach workers with CRED (Create Real Economic Destiny) in Chicago's Roseland neighborhood are paid under a city grant to de-escalate and mediate disputes among the same gangs that some of the workers once belonged to. Able to win the trust of people who distrust the police, CRED's violence prevention workers also provide therapy to trauma victims and job development help, in order to address the underlying causes of violence in a neighborhood where a lack of hope can breed a lack of respect for others' lives. Fatal shootings in Roseland are down by one-third while up elsewhere in Chicago.