Dad school: How to be a better father

MenCare is a 15-class course in Rwanda that teaches men about fatherhood, caregiving, and gender roles. A study that evaluated the course found that men who participated in the program were half as likely to use violence against women.

Mothers and Sons is a six-week domestic-violence prevention program for boys 6-8 years old and their mothers. Unlike programs aimed at older youth and men, mothers sign up for this because they want their sons to grow up with healthy, respectful, non-violent attitudes toward women. While mothers meet with social workers to discuss parenting skills, boys meet with a male psychologist to learn good ways to handle their emotions and self-expression. Demand for the program has been strong among area mothers, who have given it positive reviews after they completed it.

The Duluth Model is one of multiple successful responses to domestic violence that focus on prevention through counseling and education, rather than relying only on punishment after a crime has been committed. The often-copied Duluth approach uses an intense, multi-agency response that includes putting men who abuse their partners through a lengthy treatment program. That program leads men to examine their lives and attitudes toward women, and has been credited with keeping 70% of its graduates out of trouble.

Private dinners for only men to discuss notions of feminism and toxic masculinity have been picking up in interest across Sweden. What started in earnest following a string of assaults against women in 2016 has now become more commonplace after the #MeToo movement. Male participants testify to how comforting it is to be able to talk these issues out amongst men and figure out the best ways to act with people that they don't know as well as their own group of friends. The program now has served thousands of men across Sweden and is also publishing online guides for anyone to set up similar conversations.

Duluth’s Domestic Abuse Intervention Project has served for decades as a model for men’s counseling groups that courts often mandate in lieu of incarceration after abuse leads to criminal charges. But a deep look at its methods, which are rooted in challenging men’s patriarchal views and pushing them to take responsibility for their behavior, shows that its rejection of other behavioral influences calls into question its entire approach to truly solving the problem. A solid body of research finds the approach minimally effective, at best, and that other forms of group therapy can be more effective.

Coaches and players around the world are using sports to teach boys about masculinity and the importance of integrity, both on and off the field. From cricket in India to rugby in Fiji, games are used as a foundation for teaching important life lessons and values. As a result, young men participating in these programs have been found less likely to show aggression and more likely to believe abuse against women is wrong.

Focused on the idea of honor and honor killings, activist Khalida Brohi started a program that provides rural women in Pakistan career skills and an income in order to fight the pervasive cultural attitudes about women's education. Brohi has been working for this cause for over a decade now and has done a number of different initiatives along the way. In this episode she shares some of her insights from her work, such as working with the women themselves to change social attitudes rather than the men, or broaching the topic for both men and women using the language of Islam.

Home Free is a small, transitional-housing program for women who served long prison sentences for crimes against or on behalf of their abusers. A population long neglected, the women are part of a community recovering from the trauma of prison and the trauma that put them there. Giving them autonomy, in ways typical re-entry programs do not, is key to their recovery. “Home Free is the culmination of a decades-long struggle by women to be seen and supported by a system that has condemned and ignored them.”

Bogotá’s city government started the Calm Line to give men a way to connect by telephone with psychologists trained in therapeutic responses to the machismo that leads to gender-based violence. Despite doubts that Colombian men would use the service, the line fields about a dozen calls a day. "Fear, shame and confusion pervade many of the conversations," but also can lead to breakthroughs in understanding the attitudes that oppress women. That understanding is the first step toward cultural change, the Calm Line's supporters believe.

The Calm Hotline takes calls from men in Bogotá, Colombia, in an effort to address the root causes of domestic violence: a culture of machismo. Four psychologists take emergency calls – about 700 calls came in the service's first month – and works to refer the callers to an eight-week "gender transformation program" that will attempt to change men's toxic attitudes that can lead to violence. The program is patterned on a counseling hotline in the Colombian city of Barrancabermeja that was associated with a steep decline in domestic violence.