Forgiveness is a tenet enshrined in most of the world's religions. And yet the practice of it is elusive, especially in the criminal justice system and in the aftermath of war. How do you forgive those who wronged you? What are the ramifications for society if we do embrace the idea of forgiveness? We can certainly see one effect of eschewing forgiveness: Mass incarceration, a cycle of endless violence and for victims, wounds that never really heal.

I used to live down the street in New Orleans from Sister Helen Prejean, whose story rose to national attention with the film "Dead Man Walking." She told me about the parents of a teenager killed by a man on death row, who was executed. They continued to attend every execution held in the state.  The story still haunts me because it seemed seems like they continued to relive their pain by seeking closure in violence.

In this collection an Ohio man who spent almost 40 years of his life in prison for a crime he didn't commit manages to emerge back into the world without bitterness, and even to forgive the man whose false testimony put him there.

In Baltimore and in Kansas, parents work to forgive those who took the lives of their children, but it is a long and difficult struggle. Even for a woman raised to believe in forgiveness, actually following those tenets when faced with the mother of the man involved in her own son's murder is hugely difficult.

Many of the programs focused on restorative justice have a component of forgiveness where perpetrators and victims are brought together to talk. These ideas are proliferating around the country, even in conservative places like upstate New York. However, they are barely cobbled together on a shoestring and have very few staff. Success frequently depends on the charisma and sheer determination of an organization's founder or staff person.

In Rwanda, the horrific genocide of 1994 is remembered every year and the country has become a model for national reconciliation. This has happened through determined NGOs who have created programs such as reconciliation villages where victims and perpetrators live side by side. Government policies have focused for years on eradicating racial hatred. It has made for a more peaceful society, but the policies also verge on being too oppressive according to some international human rights groups.